I have been extremely excited to get my first post going on
Marriage Monday but when I sat down to write my blog post, I was
overwhelmed. Why? Because I have so much to say (HA! That is an understatement!) and I didn't know
where to start! Fast forward a few HOURS - yes, HOURS! Now here we go....
You better sit down for these two startling facts:
- The
divorce rate for the
- In
These statistics sadden me to no end.
You know what "I" think the problem is? I think that everyone has became too selfish,
prideful and arrogant. (OUCH!) And I am including myself in this as well! Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit
before a fall. (Proverb 16:18).
Many people do not want to take the time to try to make
someone else happy. Let's be realistic -
you got married because you loved your spouse sooooo much that you couldn't
live without them but when you got married, you thought that it was okay to
stop trying - that they took the bait, now they are YOURS, and nothing will
change that! SO. NOT. TRUE! Things can change in an instant; hence, that
is why the divorce rate is so alarmingly high!
Let me just say, if everyone spent half as much time on
their marriage as they do their regular job, I think there would be a lot more
happy people in the world. Marriage IS
hard work - most, if not all, of the time.
Marriage is like a garden - you have to keep tending to it, nurturing
it, watering it, pulling the weeds out of it; otherwise, if you didn't do those
things, your garden would not grow - same with your marriage - it has to be
tended to on a regular, constant basis. But
you say "My spouse does not do this or my spouse does not do
that." I say "SOMETIMES YOU
HAVE TO GIVE WHAT YOU DIDN'T GET IN ORDER TO GET WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS
WANTED." Yeah, I said that and I
have said it to MANY people! =)
Throughout my life I have found that it is optimal for a
marriage to have two people trying but, let me tell you, if ONE person is
willing to humble themselves and fight for their marriage, the marriage can
change in a great direction. BUT there
has to be at least ONE person willing to do that. "But I am the one that deserves my
spouse to go out of their way for ME." you say...."I do this and I do
that for them, what do I get in return? This isn't fair. It should be all about me, me, me." <--- does this sound familiar? I think it does in MANY marriages. Just remember - marriage is not 50/50 - DIVORCE IS 50/50. The next time you have an argument and you are so determined about "winning", remember when one of you wins, you both truly lose. You are both on the same team.
Look at it from this point of view - it doesn't matter how
you end up having a happy marriage as long as you get there. Picture you and your spouse in your 80s,
happy as ever. I don't think you are
going to look over at your spouse and think "Gee, I should have never
humbled myself years ago. Even though we
are so happy now, I still shouldn't have gave in." No one would EVER say that! Instead, you will be both be sitting in
rocking chairs on the front porch of your home that you raised your children
in, smiling at each other, holding hands and thinking "Every ounce of
energy, ever sacrifice was truly worth it!" It's time for us to learn to respect our
spouses and humble ourselves before our spouses and before God!
What can you do today to let grace flow through in your
marriage by being humble?
~Amy
