Letting Go of Offenses...Let It Go!

Isn't it funny how you "preach" things only to be slapped with what you preached about shortly after?  I had posted my blog post about being humble and, surely, the next day I exploded.  Talk about humbling....

It happens to all of us.  We try to help others and we end up feeling like we got the short end of the stick.  Or, we sacrifice something in some way and we feel as if it was clearly not appreciated.  We all have had these scenarios happen to us but, when they do, how do we stop from harboring bitterness?  Because we all know how UGLY bitterness really is.

In Joyce Meyer's Beauty for Ashes series she says:

“First, let me say that it is not possible to have good emotional health while harboring bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness.  Harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy will die!  Unforgiveness poisons anyone who holds it, causing him to become bitter.  And it is impossible to be bitter and get better at the same time!”

Let me tell you firsthand, those words are SO VERY TRUE! 

When you become bitter, everything changes you....the way you feel about all circumstances, the way you feel about others and, more damagingly, the way that you feel about yourself.  It is a downhill spiral and you HAVE to find a way to let it go and let it go quickly!

We have to understand that FORGIVING does not mean that you are condoning what has happened.  It just means that you are letting go of the strain that is slowly killing your heart and soul.  You have to forgive the action.  I mean, you REALLY have to forgive!  Forgiving does not mean that you are a doormat now that you have forgiven.  It just means that you are giving others the grace that God gives us on a daily basis.  Think about this Bible scripture:

Mark 11:25-26:  “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins.”

And, don't forget about the verse that states:

Matthew 18:20-21:  "21Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."

That's forgiving someone 7 x 70 times, which means keep forgiving until you have found true forgiveness!

We have to keep in mind that the enemy (Satan) is after our happiness, after our hearts.  He wants us to be broken.  He wants our lives to be lived in chaos and distress.  He wants us to not enjoy one single minute of this glorious life that God has given us all.  He is out to kill, steal, and destroy.  When he is able to do this, this will put a huge wedge between ourselves and God and we surely do not want that!

Take a long look in the mirror.  Sincerely look at yourself and see if your heart has hardened, check to see if you have been living under an enormous amount of unneeded stress, see if you feel bitterness towards others.  If so, it's time to lay it all down at the altar, lay it down at the feet of Jesus.  He wants to forgive you but you need to forgive others.  We all do.

Love always wins!

~ Amy

Marriage Monday - Respect: Your Husband Needs It!

Respect is a powerful thing!  And it is probably viewed differently by many.  One thing is for certain though....MEN NEED TO FEEL RESPECTED!

What is the official definition for respect?  According to the dictionary:  a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

What does this mean?  It means that if you are a wife and you are still reading, then you have what it takes to have a happy marriage because you are concerned about what your husband needs.

Through the years of my marriage, I have learned that men need to feel appreciated even when they have made mistakes.  Men need their wives to believe in them even when the odds are stacked against them - with a supporting wife by their side, they can conquer anything!  And, most men probably feel like they should be respected without having to earn it....in the way of, they need to be respected for who they are and not what they do.  Husbands NEED respect in order for the marriage to thrive.

Now as a wife, I am very willing to show respect BUT the part I have struggled with for many years (until recently) is I have always felt that respect should be earned and this kind of thinking has created many arguments and disagreements that could have been avoided.  I have read many, many books, listened to various programs, etc. because I honestly felt that in order for me to give respect to my husband, he had to be respectable (makes sense, right?)...this is the complete opposite of what a man needs.  I have found if a wife can show respect to her husband, even when he doesn't deserve to be respected, he will feel safe and secure with the relationship and this will allow him to open up in a way that he never has before.  A man will never open up to you if you just keep tearing him down over and over again.  There will be no trust there.  There will be no safety.  And, eventually, the love will die.

The book of Proverbs says, “The wise woman builds her house,” but “a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones”.  A wife is either building up or tearing down her husband.

A man's home should be a place of peace, a place of rest, and a place where he feels like he is wonderful.  It should not be a place of criticism, a place of chaos (even though there will be random days of chaos), or a place of rejection.  Insulting a man will end up robbing you of his heart. 

It may be hard at times (because every single one of us fail on a daily basis on being the "perfect" spouse) but if we learn to shower our men/husbands with unconditional respect, even long before they deserve it, they will gain a new respect for us and their hearts will truly begin to open and expand for us.  Not only that, but this will teach us about grace.  We, as wives, sure need grace every single day.  The goal is to work together, to look for the best in one another, and to help improve ourselves in order to improve our family. 

What can you do to start showing your husband respect? 

~Amy

FREE Today Only - Dave Willis "The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage" Video

If you search the web for anything marriage related, I am sure you have came across something at some point in time by Dave Willis.  He has wonderful marriage advice and today, on his site, he is offering a 4-step marriage video on "The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage" for FREE - this is usually a $20 value! 

In this four-part video teaching program, Dave and Ashley Willis explore the "Four Pillars" that make up a strong and healthy marriage. There is a separate video lesson and discussion questions involving each of the "pillars" which are:

1. Lifelong Love
2. Rock-Solid Trust
3. Effective Communication
4. Passionate Intimacy

As the founders of the facebook Marriage Page (www.StrongerMarriages.org), we have had the privilege of interacting with thousands of couples all over the world. My wife and I have put together this video series as a tool to help couples strengthen their marriages by building (or rebuilding) the “pillars” that hold a marriage together. This conversational-style video format allows us to share personal details from our own life experiences as well as countless marriage-building tips that are guaranteed to strengthen your relationship.

Click HERE to get your FREE download today! 

For more marriage-building resources, please visit DaveWillis.org

~Amy