Lifelong Love Affair by Jimmy Evans book ***GIVEAWAY**

***FACEBOOK ONLY GIVEAWAY!***

I have a copy of Lifelong Love Affair by Jimmy Evans (who is absolutely wonderful and gives GREAT Christian advice to marriages and spouses...if you have never listened to him, YouTube him or find him on your local Christian network). I am going to be running a Facebook giveaway for this wonderful book.

RULES:...

1. You have to "like" Amy's Journey on Facebook and share the contest post anytime from now until the end of the contest date, which is Saturday, July 17th at midnight.
2. You can share this as many times as you want to throughout that time period. 
3. For each new "like" on my page, have your friend tag you in a comment on that post to tell me that they sent you.  
4. The person with the most friend referrals will win this awesome book. 

Are you in?

~Amy

Marriage Monday - Respect: Your Husband Needs It!

Respect is a powerful thing!  And it is probably viewed differently by many.  One thing is for certain though....MEN NEED TO FEEL RESPECTED!

What is the official definition for respect?  According to the dictionary:  a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

What does this mean?  It means that if you are a wife and you are still reading, then you have what it takes to have a happy marriage because you are concerned about what your husband needs.

Through the years of my marriage, I have learned that men need to feel appreciated even when they have made mistakes.  Men need their wives to believe in them even when the odds are stacked against them - with a supporting wife by their side, they can conquer anything!  And, most men probably feel like they should be respected without having to earn it....in the way of, they need to be respected for who they are and not what they do.  Husbands NEED respect in order for the marriage to thrive.

Now as a wife, I am very willing to show respect BUT the part I have struggled with for many years (until recently) is I have always felt that respect should be earned and this kind of thinking has created many arguments and disagreements that could have been avoided.  I have read many, many books, listened to various programs, etc. because I honestly felt that in order for me to give respect to my husband, he had to be respectable (makes sense, right?)...this is the complete opposite of what a man needs.  I have found if a wife can show respect to her husband, even when he doesn't deserve to be respected, he will feel safe and secure with the relationship and this will allow him to open up in a way that he never has before.  A man will never open up to you if you just keep tearing him down over and over again.  There will be no trust there.  There will be no safety.  And, eventually, the love will die.

The book of Proverbs says, “The wise woman builds her house,” but “a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones”.  A wife is either building up or tearing down her husband.

A man's home should be a place of peace, a place of rest, and a place where he feels like he is wonderful.  It should not be a place of criticism, a place of chaos (even though there will be random days of chaos), or a place of rejection.  Insulting a man will end up robbing you of his heart. 

It may be hard at times (because every single one of us fail on a daily basis on being the "perfect" spouse) but if we learn to shower our men/husbands with unconditional respect, even long before they deserve it, they will gain a new respect for us and their hearts will truly begin to open and expand for us.  Not only that, but this will teach us about grace.  We, as wives, sure need grace every single day.  The goal is to work together, to look for the best in one another, and to help improve ourselves in order to improve our family. 

What can you do to start showing your husband respect? 

~Amy

Marriage Monday - When Problems Arise, How Do You Handle Them?

We ALL have those days - where you wake up and it seems your whole world has fallen apart.  Or, you wake up - and one thing after another goes wrong.  PROBLEMS ARISE!  It is inevitable that any kind of problem pops up in your day-to-day life.  Some are small, some are big, and some are life-changing!  I guess the problem isn't "What IF a problem occurs?"  More like "When a problem occurs, how am I/we going to handle it?"  <--- The answer to that question (and you will have many throughout life) will be one of the most important things that you figure out because ultimately, your reactions and actions will determine the outcome.

I have a friend that is a counselor and he posted one day with the question that was something like "When faced with a problem, how do you handle it?  Put these in the order that you deal with problems.  a) act, t) think, and f) feel."  He had worded differently and my order gave me FAT...lol.  My order was bad.  My order was wrong.  My order was:  I feel, act, and then I think.  Whoa!  We better sit down for a minute.  That order is SOOOO wrong that it became clear at that very moment that I needed to change the way that I react to problems. 

We should really try to think things through first.  Then react.  Then feel.  Otherwise, you are going to create a world of a mess for you and your family.  For example, you and your spouse get into an argument.  Your spouse says something that isn't very nice.  Of course then we are feeling the hurt and anger so, most of the time, we want to lash out and hurt them back....so we act with something negative and hurtful.  Then after it is all said and done, we sit down and think about the horrible things that we said.  Yes, I hang my head down in shame because that is the way that I used to do things and, every now and then, I fall in the same trap.  I am a work in progress. 

Now, let's take a look if we do things differently:  You and your spouse get into an argument.  Your spouse say something that isn't very nice.  You think about the situation and realize that your spouse is angry and is probably just saying hurtful things out of spite.  So you thought about the situation briefly and you are not going to hurt your spouse in return.  Instead, you are going to act with a calm manner and try to diffuse the situation in finding a reasonable solution without hurting anyone in the process.  Then you are going to feel GOOD.  Why?  Because, more chances than not, your spouse will cool down, you will have acted humbly and NOT prideful, and your spouse will be apologizing to YOU for their actions and most likely, you both will be calm enough to figure out the right solution to your problem. 

Don't worry if you mess up.  Just keep pushing through and keep trying to think before you do anything else.  We all get our buttons pushed from time to time, but just putting forth the effort will make a big difference. 

Remember, you and your spouse ARE on the same team.  When one of you "wins" the argument, you both really lose!

Now the question is, how do you react when problems arise?

~Amy