Lifelong Love Affair by Jimmy Evans book ***GIVEAWAY**

***FACEBOOK ONLY GIVEAWAY!***

I have a copy of Lifelong Love Affair by Jimmy Evans (who is absolutely wonderful and gives GREAT Christian advice to marriages and spouses...if you have never listened to him, YouTube him or find him on your local Christian network). I am going to be running a Facebook giveaway for this wonderful book.

RULES:...

1. You have to "like" Amy's Journey on Facebook and share the contest post anytime from now until the end of the contest date, which is Saturday, July 17th at midnight.
2. You can share this as many times as you want to throughout that time period. 
3. For each new "like" on my page, have your friend tag you in a comment on that post to tell me that they sent you.  
4. The person with the most friend referrals will win this awesome book. 

Are you in?

~Amy

Marriage Monday - Respect: Your Husband Needs It!

Respect is a powerful thing!  And it is probably viewed differently by many.  One thing is for certain though....MEN NEED TO FEEL RESPECTED!

What is the official definition for respect?  According to the dictionary:  a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

What does this mean?  It means that if you are a wife and you are still reading, then you have what it takes to have a happy marriage because you are concerned about what your husband needs.

Through the years of my marriage, I have learned that men need to feel appreciated even when they have made mistakes.  Men need their wives to believe in them even when the odds are stacked against them - with a supporting wife by their side, they can conquer anything!  And, most men probably feel like they should be respected without having to earn it....in the way of, they need to be respected for who they are and not what they do.  Husbands NEED respect in order for the marriage to thrive.

Now as a wife, I am very willing to show respect BUT the part I have struggled with for many years (until recently) is I have always felt that respect should be earned and this kind of thinking has created many arguments and disagreements that could have been avoided.  I have read many, many books, listened to various programs, etc. because I honestly felt that in order for me to give respect to my husband, he had to be respectable (makes sense, right?)...this is the complete opposite of what a man needs.  I have found if a wife can show respect to her husband, even when he doesn't deserve to be respected, he will feel safe and secure with the relationship and this will allow him to open up in a way that he never has before.  A man will never open up to you if you just keep tearing him down over and over again.  There will be no trust there.  There will be no safety.  And, eventually, the love will die.

The book of Proverbs says, “The wise woman builds her house,” but “a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones”.  A wife is either building up or tearing down her husband.

A man's home should be a place of peace, a place of rest, and a place where he feels like he is wonderful.  It should not be a place of criticism, a place of chaos (even though there will be random days of chaos), or a place of rejection.  Insulting a man will end up robbing you of his heart. 

It may be hard at times (because every single one of us fail on a daily basis on being the "perfect" spouse) but if we learn to shower our men/husbands with unconditional respect, even long before they deserve it, they will gain a new respect for us and their hearts will truly begin to open and expand for us.  Not only that, but this will teach us about grace.  We, as wives, sure need grace every single day.  The goal is to work together, to look for the best in one another, and to help improve ourselves in order to improve our family. 

What can you do to start showing your husband respect? 

~Amy

Marriage Monday - When Problems Arise, How Do You Handle Them?

We ALL have those days - where you wake up and it seems your whole world has fallen apart.  Or, you wake up - and one thing after another goes wrong.  PROBLEMS ARISE!  It is inevitable that any kind of problem pops up in your day-to-day life.  Some are small, some are big, and some are life-changing!  I guess the problem isn't "What IF a problem occurs?"  More like "When a problem occurs, how am I/we going to handle it?"  <--- The answer to that question (and you will have many throughout life) will be one of the most important things that you figure out because ultimately, your reactions and actions will determine the outcome.

I have a friend that is a counselor and he posted one day with the question that was something like "When faced with a problem, how do you handle it?  Put these in the order that you deal with problems.  a) act, t) think, and f) feel."  He had worded differently and my order gave me FAT...lol.  My order was bad.  My order was wrong.  My order was:  I feel, act, and then I think.  Whoa!  We better sit down for a minute.  That order is SOOOO wrong that it became clear at that very moment that I needed to change the way that I react to problems. 

We should really try to think things through first.  Then react.  Then feel.  Otherwise, you are going to create a world of a mess for you and your family.  For example, you and your spouse get into an argument.  Your spouse says something that isn't very nice.  Of course then we are feeling the hurt and anger so, most of the time, we want to lash out and hurt them back....so we act with something negative and hurtful.  Then after it is all said and done, we sit down and think about the horrible things that we said.  Yes, I hang my head down in shame because that is the way that I used to do things and, every now and then, I fall in the same trap.  I am a work in progress. 

Now, let's take a look if we do things differently:  You and your spouse get into an argument.  Your spouse say something that isn't very nice.  You think about the situation and realize that your spouse is angry and is probably just saying hurtful things out of spite.  So you thought about the situation briefly and you are not going to hurt your spouse in return.  Instead, you are going to act with a calm manner and try to diffuse the situation in finding a reasonable solution without hurting anyone in the process.  Then you are going to feel GOOD.  Why?  Because, more chances than not, your spouse will cool down, you will have acted humbly and NOT prideful, and your spouse will be apologizing to YOU for their actions and most likely, you both will be calm enough to figure out the right solution to your problem. 

Don't worry if you mess up.  Just keep pushing through and keep trying to think before you do anything else.  We all get our buttons pushed from time to time, but just putting forth the effort will make a big difference. 

Remember, you and your spouse ARE on the same team.  When one of you "wins" the argument, you both really lose!

Now the question is, how do you react when problems arise?

~Amy

FREE Today Only - Dave Willis "The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage" Video

If you search the web for anything marriage related, I am sure you have came across something at some point in time by Dave Willis.  He has wonderful marriage advice and today, on his site, he is offering a 4-step marriage video on "The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage" for FREE - this is usually a $20 value! 

In this four-part video teaching program, Dave and Ashley Willis explore the "Four Pillars" that make up a strong and healthy marriage. There is a separate video lesson and discussion questions involving each of the "pillars" which are:

1. Lifelong Love
2. Rock-Solid Trust
3. Effective Communication
4. Passionate Intimacy

As the founders of the facebook Marriage Page (www.StrongerMarriages.org), we have had the privilege of interacting with thousands of couples all over the world. My wife and I have put together this video series as a tool to help couples strengthen their marriages by building (or rebuilding) the “pillars” that hold a marriage together. This conversational-style video format allows us to share personal details from our own life experiences as well as countless marriage-building tips that are guaranteed to strengthen your relationship.

Click HERE to get your FREE download today! 

For more marriage-building resources, please visit DaveWillis.org

~Amy

Does Anyone Want To Stay Married Anymore?

 

I have been extremely excited to get my first post going on Marriage Monday but when I sat down to write my blog post, I was overwhelmed.  Why?  Because I have so much to say (HA!  That is an understatement!) and I didn't know where to start!   Fast forward a few HOURS - yes, HOURS!  Now here we go....

You better sit down for these two startling facts:

• The divorce rate for the United States for 2013 was that approximately 50% of people that are married would divorce! 
• In America, there is one divorce every 13 seconds.  That's 6,646 divorces per day and 46,523 divorces per week!

These statistics sadden me to no end.

You know what "I" think the problem is?  I think that everyone has became too selfish, prideful and arrogant.  (OUCH!)  And I am including myself in this as well! Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.  (Proverb 16:18).   

Many people do not want to take the time to try to make someone else happy.  Let's be realistic - you got married because you loved your spouse sooooo much that you couldn't live without them but when you got married, you thought that it was okay to stop trying - that they took the bait, now they are YOURS, and nothing will change that!  SO. NOT. TRUE!  Things can change in an instant; hence, that is why the divorce rate is so alarmingly high!

Let me just say, if everyone spent half as much time on their marriage as they do their regular job, I think there would be a lot more happy people in the world.  Marriage IS hard work - most, if not all, of the time.  Marriage is like a garden - you have to keep tending to it, nurturing it, watering it, pulling the weeds out of it; otherwise, if you didn't do those things, your garden would not grow - same with your marriage - it has to be tended to on a regular, constant basis.  But you say "My spouse does not do this or my spouse does not do that."  I say "SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GIVE WHAT YOU DIDN'T GET IN ORDER TO GET WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED."  Yeah, I said that and I have said it to MANY people!  =) 

Throughout my life I have found that it is optimal for a marriage to have two people trying but, let me tell you, if ONE person is willing to humble themselves and fight for their marriage, the marriage can change in a great direction.  BUT there has to be at least ONE person willing to do that.  "But I am the one that deserves my spouse to go out of their way for ME." you say...."I do this and I do that for them, what do I get in return? This isn't fair.  It should be all about me, me, me."  <--- does this sound familiar?  I think it does in MANY marriages.  Just remember - marriage is not 50/50 - DIVORCE IS 50/50.  The next time you have an argument and you are so determined about "winning", remember when one of you wins, you both truly lose.  You are both on the same team.

Look at it from this point of view - it doesn't matter how you end up having a happy marriage as long as you get there.  Picture you and your spouse in your 80s, happy as ever.  I don't think you are going to look over at your spouse and think "Gee, I should have never humbled myself years ago.  Even though we are so happy now, I still shouldn't have gave in."  No one would EVER say that!  Instead, you will be both be sitting in rocking chairs on the front porch of your home that you raised your children in, smiling at each other, holding hands and thinking "Every ounce of energy, ever sacrifice was truly worth it!"  It's time for us to learn to respect our spouses and humble ourselves before our spouses and before God!

 

James 4:6 (KJV) - But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

What can you do today to let grace flow through in your marriage by being humble?

 

~Amy