Monday, February 3, 2014

Does Anyone Want To Stay Married Anymore?


I have been extremely excited to get my first post going on Marriage Monday but when I sat down to write my blog post, I was overwhelmed.  Why?  Because I have so much to say (HA!  That is an understatement!) and I didn't know where to start!   Fast forward a few HOURS - yes, HOURS!  Now here we go....

You better sit down for these two startling facts:

  • The divorce rate for the United States for 2013 was that approximately 50% of people that are married would divorce! 
  • In America, there is one divorce every 13 seconds.  That's 6,646 divorces per day and 46,523 divorces per week!
These statistics sadden me to no end.

You know what "I" think the problem is?  I think that everyone has became too selfish, prideful and arrogant.  (OUCH!)  And I am including myself in this as well! Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.  (Proverb 16:18).   

Many people do not want to take the time to try to make someone else happy.  Let's be realistic - you got married because you loved your spouse sooooo much that you couldn't live without them but when you got married, you thought that it was okay to stop trying - that they took the bait, now they are YOURS, and nothing will change that!  SO. NOT. TRUE!  Things can change in an instant; hence, that is why the divorce rate is so alarmingly high!

Let me just say, if everyone spent half as much time on their marriage as they do their regular job, I think there would be a lot more happy people in the world.  Marriage IS hard work - most, if not all, of the time.  Marriage is like a garden - you have to keep tending to it, nurturing it, watering it, pulling the weeds out of it; otherwise, if you didn't do those things, your garden would not grow - same with your marriage - it has to be tended to on a regular, constant basis.  But you say "My spouse does not do this or my spouse does not do that."  I say "SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GIVE WHAT YOU DIDN'T GET IN ORDER TO GET WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED."  Yeah, I said that and I have said it to MANY people!  =) 

Throughout my life I have found that it is optimal for a marriage to have two people trying but, let me tell you, if ONE person is willing to humble themselves and fight for their marriage, the marriage can change in a great direction.  BUT there has to be at least ONE person willing to do that.  "But I am the one that deserves my spouse to go out of their way for ME." you say...."I do this and I do that for them, what do I get in return? This isn't fair.  It should be all about me, me, me."  <--- does this sound familiar?  I think it does in MANY marriages.  Just remember - marriage is not 50/50 - DIVORCE IS 50/50.  The next time you have an argument and you are so determined about "winning", remember when one of you wins, you both truly lose.  You are both on the same team.

Look at it from this point of view - it doesn't matter how you end up having a happy marriage as long as you get there.  Picture you and your spouse in your 80s, happy as ever.  I don't think you are going to look over at your spouse and think "Gee, I should have never humbled myself years ago.  Even though we are so happy now, I still shouldn't have gave in."  No one would EVER say that!  Instead, you will be both be sitting in rocking chairs on the front porch of your home that you raised your children in, smiling at each other, holding hands and thinking "Every ounce of energy, ever sacrifice was truly worth it!"  It's time for us to learn to respect our spouses and humble ourselves before our spouses and before God!
James 4:6 (KJV) - But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

What can you do today to let grace flow through in your marriage by being humble?


  1. This is a fantastic blog post! I am looking forward to the future Marriage Mondays posts. I am going to put in an effort to try to think that I am not always right and humble myself by being more attentive and kinder to my husband on a more constant basis. You are right about one couple get married they stop putting in any effort in the marriage. They let kids and jobs get in the way. I am so glad I came across this today and I will be looking forward to more posts. I am going to go and follow you everywhere so I don't miss any articles.


    1. Hi Karen! Glad you liked this post and I think it will be great if you are more attentive and kinder to your husband. I know, myself, when I focus on being nicer it changes the atmosphere of everything in the household. Of course, some days are harder than others but that is okay - we just have to learn to work harder on those days. And yes kids and occupations do get in the way. I have read so many times about scheduling a date night and I want to do that more in my own marriage - it is hard though. Thanks for joining my sites!

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  3. This is a awesome post. I just couples don't work hard enough or communicate like they should. Being married is not a fairy-tale from a book, you have to work at it. I will look forward to Marriage Mondays. This was the first post i read and I will be following. Take Care

    1. Thanks Nikkie for stopping by and I am so glad you enjoyed Marriage Monday! You are right - being married is not a fairy tale from a book. It is up to us to make our own happy ending through lots and lots of work! =)

      I stopped by your blog and your recipes look to die for! I will definitely be checking out your page on a regular basis! I am always looking up recipes. Feel free to add your link to my blog hop for Tasty Tuesdays. It runs from Tuesday to Thursday every week! I am going to follow you as soon as I can. There was a problem with the follow button not displaying properly but I think it is on my end because I have been having issues this morning!

  4. I think you hit the nail on the head with this post. I've only been married for 2 years but I realize the amount of work it takes to make things work. You're right that if even ONE person tries harder in the relationship, both people will benefit and change. Marriage is not the fairytale that movies and books make it out to be and many people go into marriage with a skewed perception of what to expect. Your post is very similar to one that I wrote on my own blog "Why You Shouldn't Plan on Getting Married". You should check it out at when you get the chance.

    Great post!

    1. Derrell - Glad you liked the post! Yes, MOST of the time, it only takes one person to change the way they speak to their spouse or a change in their actions - then the other spouse will usually come around and be more respectful. A marriage truly wins when someone is willing to make a sacrifice. You are right, marriage is NOT a fairytale the way Hollywood has portrayed it to be. It takes a LOT of hard work, patience, self-sacrifice, etc to grow in marriage. But it is soooo worth it! Thanks for stopping by and I am headed over to check your post/blog out now!