Respect is a powerful thing! And it is probably viewed differently by many. One thing is for certain though....MEN NEED TO FEEL RESPECTED!
What is the official definition for respect? According to the dictionary: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
What does this mean? It means that if you are a wife and you are still reading, then you have what it takes to have a happy marriage because you are concerned about what your husband needs.
Through the years of my marriage, I have learned that men need to feel appreciated even when they have made mistakes. Men need their wives to believe in them even when the odds are stacked against them - with a supporting wife by their side, they can conquer anything! And, most men probably feel like they should be respected without having to earn it....in the way of, they need to be respected for who they are and not what they do. Husbands NEED respect in order for the marriage to thrive.
Now as a wife, I am very willing to show respect BUT the part I have struggled with for many years (until recently) is I have always felt that respect should be earned and this kind of thinking has created many arguments and disagreements that could have been avoided. I have read many, many books, listened to various programs, etc. because I honestly felt that in order for me to give respect to my husband, he had to be respectable (makes sense, right?)...this is the complete opposite of what a man needs. I have found if a wife can show respect to her husband, even when he doesn't deserve to be respected, he will feel safe and secure with the relationship and this will allow him to open up in a way that he never has before. A man will never open up to you if you just keep tearing him down over and over again. There will be no trust there. There will be no safety. And, eventually, the love will die.
The book of Proverbs says, “The wise woman builds her house,” but “a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones”. A wife is either building up or tearing down her husband.
A man's home should be a place of peace, a place of rest, and a place where he feels like he is wonderful. It should not be a place of criticism, a place of chaos (even though there will be random days of chaos), or a place of rejection. Insulting a man will end up robbing you of his heart.
It may be hard at times (because every single one of us fail on a daily basis on being the "perfect" spouse) but if we learn to shower our men/husbands with unconditional respect, even long before they deserve it, they will gain a new respect for us and their hearts will truly begin to open and expand for us. Not only that, but this will teach us about grace. We, as wives, sure need grace every single day. The goal is to work together, to look for the best in one another, and to help improve ourselves in order to improve our family.
What can you do to start showing your husband respect?
~Amy
This does put things into perspective. I have to say that I have been a nag for some time. I have been like you, feeling that my husband needs to EARN my respect, but when you mentioned "GRACE", it all came clear. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteKaty
One of the most important things that I have learned through marriage is that someone has to be willing to change the behavior/the whole mindset of the marriage. Someone has to be willing to change the course. Most of the time - it is the wives who do this. It is hard to do, hard to be polite and respectful when you feel like that you aren't being respected but once you see the changes of showing your respect (especially during those times of being disrespected) it will amaze you. Now this is not to say to ever stand up for abuse - abuse is never okay. There is a line to be drawn. This is just for everyday living.
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